We can spend whole of our life seeking for happiness, but can never find it. Why? Because the truth is that the happiness comes to those who think the least about it and do the least for it. There are broadly three reasons why we do not get happiness even after sighing so much for it and pulling off everything for it.
We get prone to only seeking happiness, and not understanding and not wanting to go through the process of actually acquiring it.
We try to seek happiness only for ourselves and not for others.
Even if we have a door of happiness opened in life, we overlook it and get ourselves engaged in the other closed doors.
So, in all, we seek the right thing but in a wrong manner.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony”, — Mahatama Gandhi
What we think : The first imprint of our thought in our very own subconscious mind sows the seed of our karma in our lives. Even if we do not extend our thought to words or actions, ‘The Nature’ will nurture this seed for us and impart us with its fruit. Seeds of good thoughts bring good fruits and vice-versa. Therefore, we must always be aware and very attentive about what we are thinking. ‘The Nature has a highly fertile land and is always on work. Any seed we sow onto it, it turns it into a tree and gives us back multiplied fruits. These fruits again have seeds of the same form in them and this process goes on. So, let us try to be strong, disciplined and mindful of what we think. Let us not let the external world command our thinking and create frustrations in us. Also, our thoughts can help us perceive about what we think for ourselves and for others. Thoughts are incomplete in themselves to understand the realities of life. Our words or actions accompany them.
What we say : Just because what we perceive ourselves of being a certain kind of person, does not mean that we are actually that kind of person. If what we say do not match with what we thought, the whole picture gets wrong and creates an unreal vision and ambiguity. I know people who are good at their heart and thoughts, but are most of the times not able to say it rightly. Myself being one. This creates misery in life as this widens the distance between perception and reality far more than acceptable. It needs practice. Practice to utter our words in such a manner that the other person walks away with positive judgement about us. The way we love, our facial tones, kindness we show to others, compliments we choose, wisdom we show, must reflect our good thoughts in them.
What we do : One very fine lesson which I had learnt from the first company I worked with is “Talk the Walk, And Walk the Talk”–[Say what you do. Do what you say]. To align our actions to our thoughts and words, it is very important to define our goals in life clearly. If we make sure what we do takes us closer to what we wanted to do in life, we can live a life of bliss. This goes all the more for women. Women especially have many social constraints to take care of before they take care of themselves. They are the epitome of happiness, but they are the most unhappy ones in the family. So, let us allow ourselves to care of our inner peace by doing and having things we like. And most importantly, if we happen to do something which is misaligned with our vision, learn to forgive ourselves. Learn from our doings and sharpen ourselves rightly for next times to come. When climbing up a hill, it is ok to give up as many times as we wish, as along as our feet keep on moving upwards.
With all the three said above are done, it forms a perfect panorama for ‘right living’. If we seek for right living, happiness will come to us by itself as a by-product of it. Search for your own ways to living rightly.
“Life is not a search for happiness. Happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of a life, of doing the right thing. Do not search for happiness, search for right living and happiness will be your reward. Life is sometimes a march of duty during dull, dark days. But happiness will come again, as God’s smile of recognition of your faithfulness. True happiness is always the by-product of a life well lived.” — Twenty Four Hours A Day, by Hazelden Education
Yet another aspect of making ourselves happy is to make people around us happy. If we do things to bring smiles on other’s face, we feel a sense of satisfaction that we have done our duty of being a good human very well. This way we ensure that unhappiness does not set in people’s minds due to our deeds, which could have got reciprocated to us otherwise. This achievement makes us feel proud of ourselves and mind sees calmness. And hence happiness too.
“In seeking happiness for others, you find it for yourself.”
In life, everything is not under our control like our previous karmas or karmas done by people associated with us, which bring bad happenings and tough memories along. ‘The Nature’ is to reward us with what we sowed. But slowly we can change that by learning the art of not holding memories of unpleasant things which have passed. If Nature takes away something from us, it gives us something else in place, it’s on us to accept The Nature’s law and be happy with what it gives us to enjoy in our present. If we will start building happier memories today, we shall have the ripen fruits to be enjoyed in our future and also to be shared with others.
“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” – Buddha
May we all live in peace.