Most of us can relate to that terrible feeling of getting hurt either physically or emotionally by someone. There are wounds that leave us fallen apart in life, full of grief and our smiles stolen away. We, as humans, carry all the tedency to hurt and to get hurt by various means – it may be an unexpected sudden natural disaster, a broken out fire from an intended spark or an armed robbery. All of us will have at least one story to share when it left a sharp needle in the heart that shall keep pricking for always. For those who have endured more serious circumstances, the emotional pain is even more incomparable.
But the question here is ‘Is it really worth it?’. Is it worth to let ourselves get hurt? If we happen to eye the whole thing from a spiritual perspective, the undoubted answer shall come as “NO”. Nothing in life is worth disturbing our peace of mind. But it is far more easier said than done. Like everyone, I also have been hurt – in many profound and skin-deep ways. And I have dealt with it. It’s a process always in progress.
There are few ideas I keep in my mind to save myself from being hurt or to recover myself after getting hurt.
- Many a times, there can be multiple issues in life disturbing us. It gets tough to identify which one is hurting us so much to put us to tears. First and foremost, we can sit back calmly and try to figure out what hurts us and why. Broken relationships, lost loved ones, abusive company, unhealthy finances, unfulfilled dreams, tensed careers, uncertain future etc. and etc. It could be anything which can build up many layers of pain. Get to the root of it.
- Pen it down. Writing it all down on a piece of paper can help us define it more clearly. It is a process where our mind becomes more aware about the strain we are going through. And when the mind starts becoming aware about it, it thinks constructively towards it. In situations where there is no guarantee that we’ll be able to communicate to the person how we got hurt and they’ll be able to relate to us and respond in the way we wish to, writing helps us out.
- Something which has happened, has happened. Nothing can be done about it now. Revisiting it time and again in memories or talks can not bring out any happiness from what has happened. If we will keep living with the pain, we will be doing nothing but imparting all the power to the incident to control us. This will not change anything. So just let it go.
- If we were the one who did wrong, we should forgive ourselves and create small possibility of happiness. Whatever we do, there happens to be a reason and history behind it. Even if we feel infinite regret inside, we deserve to start afresh again and unburden ourselves with the torture. If the sorry is not enough, bring that much needed change. If someone was wrong, be quick be forgive. They say that weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Also, remember that forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt and feeling light. But don’t keep high expectations of change in others, rather build emotional strength to handle it more intelligently if something happens to shook us again.
- People, circumstances, adversities make us what we have become today. We were a very different person years back. Try to reconnect with what we were before things went wrong. We can still be the same person as before, the one who didn’t used to get angry so often, the one who used to be the crown of the party or the one who was the most cheerful and the one everyone wished to be with. Also, we can share our time and thoughts with the ones who relate to us, feel for us geniunely and not just keep throwing away their expectations on us. Be in the company of people who make us smile and who really care for us and allow some peace to ourselves.
- The pain which we are carrying will always stay there but it need not pop out all the time of the day. Share a meal, movie or a small laughter moment with people for whom we are the priority before anything else in the world. Shun the people who keep finding out faults in us and slow down our morale. Tiny moments, say of five minutes, of enjoyment without the story of hurt can help re-build confidence and gradually set of such moments will make our lives beautiful.
Lastly, we need to value everyone and everything we have before it’s gone. So, whatever we have today is good enough for us and we must learn to live with it joyfully.
May we all be happy.